I have very little understanding of asexuality. It didn’t even occur to me that my language might make someone feel this way, and I’m sorry that my thoughtlessness hurt you. Please accept my apology, and if you know of any places (blogs, forums, or in text form) that asexuality is being discussed in what you feel is a positive and educational way, please point me towards them so I can learn and try to avoid making this mistake again.
Stoya’s beautiful response to someone who was offended by her piece, Touch. YES. This is how to respond after unintentionally saying something hurtful to a minority group - not with denial or anger, but with humility, an acknowledgement of the other’s feelings, and a desire to learn more so the mistake doesn’t happen again. Stoya is so great.
This isn’t just about individuals, either. Everyone who says “I don’t want to be a victim-blamer, but girls should know frat parties aren’t safe places” is treating rape culture like a missing stair. Everyone who says “it’s an ugly fact, but only women who don’t make trouble make it in this business” is treating sexual harassment like a missing stair. Everyone who says “I don’t like it either, but that’s the way things are,” and makes no move to question the way things are, is jumping over a missing stair somewhere.
Almost none of their policies make sense if they really see no difference between the death of a fetus and the death of a four-year-old. However, nearly all their policies make sense if they’re seeking to make sure that women who have sex “face the consequences.” are punished. After years of seeing this pattern repeated again and again, it’s difficult to take them at their word.
You want a physicist to speak at your funeral. You want the physicist to talk to your grieving family about the conservation of energy, so they will understand that your energy has not died. You want the physicist to remind your sobbing mother about the first law of thermodynamics; that no energy gets created in the universe, and none is destroyed. You want your mother to know that all your energy, every vibration, every Btu of heat, every wave of every particle that was her beloved child remains with her in this world. You want the physicist to tell your weeping father that amid energies of the cosmos, you gave as good as you got.
And at one point you’d hope that the physicist would step down from the pulpit and walk to your brokenhearted spouse there in the pew and tell him that all the photons that ever bounced off your face, all the particles whose paths were interrupted by your smile, by the touch of your hair, hundreds of trillions of particles, have raced off like children, their ways forever changed by you. And as your widow rocks in the arms of a loving family, may the physicist let her know that all the photons that bounced from you were gathered in the particle detectors that are her eyes, that those photons created within her constellations of electromagnetically charged neurons whose energy will go on forever.
And the physicist will remind the congregation of how much of all our energy is given off as heat. There may be a few fanning themselves with their programs as he says it. And he will tell them that the warmth that flowed through you in life is still here, still part of all that we are, even as we who mourn continue the heat of our own lives.
And you’ll want the physicist to explain to those who loved you that they need not have faith; indeed, they should not have faith. Let them know that they can measure, that scientists have measured precisely the conservation of energy and found it accurate, verifiable and consistent across space and time. You can hope your family will examine the evidence and satisfy themselves that the science is sound and that they’ll be comforted to know your energy’s still around. According to the law of the conservation of energy, not a bit of you is gone; you’re just less orderly. Amen.
I want to impregnate you over and over again and then appreciate your intrinsic personality and caring nature.
I think my favorite part is how the only thing that this person can say about his future baby mama’s personality is that it’s intrinsic.
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This week’s recipes:
Chef challenge: Pear, tempeh bacon, and raspberry grilled cheese sandwich
Baketivism: Chocolate bar pie
For the animals
Meow! Vegan lynx:
Two new sweet bean dips: chocolate peanut butter black bean dip and cinnamon spiced adzuki bean dip
Quick and Easy Low Calorie Vegan Comfort Food is on the shelves! Enter to win a free copy!
The Vegan Society answers some tricky questions. I didn’t love all the answers, but it’s nice to have a baseline response.
GGA compiles the comfiest vegan shoes this summer. (Like, cute comfy, not comfy comfy.)
Activating empathy. Voting starts soon!
Paleoveganology compares speciesism to creationism; argues for conversational intolerance. ”In short, we’ve been acting like the burden of proof lies with us. But it doesn’t, and we really ought to start acting like it doesn’t.”
Remember that infuriating “Giving up the V-Card” post? Our self proclaimed archenemy over at Let Them Eat Meat interviewed the author, David Cain. Once again, Cain alludes to this all or nothing mentality which I don’t believe in. And once again, he says some really insightful things. I especially like his points about how humans aren’t really rational, so using rational arguments is kind of a waste. Benj liked this too, and he’s pretty much the expert on vegan activism.
Upcoming vegan events:
17 days, 16 hours, and 38 minutes to Vegan Fest! (I may or may not have a google countdown going…)
*Also, I can’t believe I forgot this, but Madison Vegan Drinks tomorrow night, Tex Tubbs, 6:30 - 9!
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